Unresolved

When was it that I became no more than a shadow
Was it then when the fire at the pit burned bright and strange
Was it then when under the veil questions trembled
Was it then when unknown people pushed forward and claimed me as theirs

Was it then when I was expected to do ; not think , not say
Was it then when the person i thought was mine turned away
Was it then when questions were not to be thought of
Was it then when I realised I am homeless

For the home I knew for the last many years is not mine anymore
And the home I dreamed of creating has no room for me

Was it then when the doors shut tight against my beating fists
Was it then when I was told it is all your fault
Was it then when the person who claimed me turns and says
You are nothing.

Yes it was then and now and ever more when the girl I knew is gone
Ask her what her dreams were and she gives a stupid look

Yes it was then that she realises she has offered not just the ghee
But burned herself slowly and steadily so nothing remains.....just ashes

Yes it is now I say that phoenix rise from ashes
Take it and smear it on the forehead of your conscious self
Take it and mix it with your yet to be formed soul
Like manure or fertilisers
Let new flowers bloom forth
Let a new garden of dreams emerge.